My life in written form would sell better than Twilight.

I'm not so good at introductions, so I guess I'll just start from the good and work my way to the bad. Summer English 4 is going great. The work load isn't as terrible as it could be. I finish everything relatively quickly. My teacher is shocked that I took this class and not duo credit. I told her I would have, but I need to get out of my house and saw that education was honestly the only way at this point. I've read through my previous blogs and have spotted some huge errors. I will go back and fix that later if I have time.
Taylor has proven to be a hassle. He complains nonstop. More so than a girl. Its frustrating and just plain annoying! I don't want to deal with that. I'd stay at home and listen to my mom nag about how her daughter doesn't want to be like everyone else. He is a little too obsessed with tattoos and piercings. I mean one or a couple of tattoos isn't that bad, I suppose the same can be said for piercings. But just totally wanting to modify your body, what the hell? I don't play those games. I've never really like Taylor, just used him to get out of the house and get other things off my mind. Which isn't fair to him. But it also isn't fair to me that if I don't text him back by the time he thinks I should, I get about five text messaged complaining about how I never text back, I'm doing something with someone else, or something of that nature. Christs sake! I want to chuck my phone out a moving car.
Here's the next problem. That Matt guy, the one I am so head over heels for. He's apparently going to jail. I don't know what for, I really don't care. There's not much that would change my opinions on him. Well wait, if it was for like raping small children, I couldn't look past that. Not a good thing and I have personal experience in the matter.. So back to this little soap opera thing I have going on. I kiss Taylor I feel nothing. I kiss Matt, every little bit of my body tingles. I kiss Taylor I think "Wow, REALLY bad kisser. Is he serious he's fornicated with three people?" I kiss Matt, I don't think at all, its a nice feeling actually.
So I have discovered that all human beings will always go back to their animalistic orgins. I have become territorial over Taylor for the fact that Erin has started to make a move on in him. As I've made obvious, I could really care less for Taylor. He's everything I've never wanted.
I want to scream right now. Just scream. What's the point of me telling Matt my feelings only to be rejected. What's the point if he's in jail? There isn't one. I was a little too damn late to actually get the guts to say anything and now........well it's too damn late.

I am Jack's terrible sense of timing.

Continuation.

Lindsay is still playing music that seems to please me, minus a few knock off techno songs. I've looked at Matt's pictures a gazillion times. Taylor still isn't off work. I begin to think that I'd rather have the fake emotion than the unnerving waiting feeling. That's all it is, waiting. Lindsay has now grown bored and frustrated with her maze game. She's groaning every time something goes wrong and when she hiccups, its this high pitch sound that startles you the first few times. Then you get use to it and it's not all that bad. I feel almost weird saying this, but I am FREEZING. Its June in Texas and I'm shivering? That doesn't seem quite right, but I won't say anything. Lindsay is wearing shorts, not cold at all. Now the cat which they That Cat is laying on me. So I'm being clawed on my stomach, and its getting pissed because I stopped petting it. Every time I stop, it forces more of its weight on my stomach, and moves up to my chest, nudging me. Lindsay finds it humorous, she giggles at it and then continues being frustrated by her game. Finally That Cat gets off of me to eat food. My stomach is red, but not bleeding surprisingly. We're listening to The Ting Tings now. One of there lesser known songs, I couldn't tell you the name. Taylor should be back soon. Matt will be erased from my mind until Taylor falls asleep later tonight, then this guilty feeling will come over me. But why? Matt doesn't waste his time thinking about me, if he's even sober enough to think of me or remember who I am. I'm ridiculous. Oh sweet. Lindsay's listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and giving a small victory laugh to her game. Perfect. She's winning and I am madly in love with Karen O, but not in the gay way?

I am Jack's unnerving sense of wanting.

So I'm listening to Indie music, and its not even me playing it like usual.

So I'm sitting here at Taylor's house. Yes, Taylor's house. He's at work with his roommate, they work the same job, same shift, which leaves me with Lindsay, the roommates girlfriend. She isn't really talking to me, just listening to music, surprisingly we have the same taste. Anyways back to the main dilemma. Taylor is a nice guy, attractive, and could potentially be all mine if I seriously wanted it. Is it bad that I can sit here, lay here even, and know that no matter how much I force it, I won't like Taylor. So basically I'm using him. Fantastic. I've joined the ranks with the rest of society. I've tried forcing Matt out of my mind, but he won't leave. Which leads me to this theory that maybe if you can't get someone off your mind, their meant to be there. No, that's far too cliche. Besides, I have this gorgeous blond haired, blue eyed boy who would call me back, doesn't do drugs or drink (he's edge, hahah), and is mildly respectful. Despite all this, I'm still hooked on the druggie. What does it take to forget someone? I mean honestly I never knew Matt, not at all. I use to see him in the hallways and can recall the day where he actually looked at me, I mean he LOOKED at me. I also recall running across the cafeteria to, supposedly get him for his friends. Then he moved back to Vegas, which I didn't know at all, and told him I thought he was "pretty intriguing," and he tells me I should have told him before he left. He comes back December, I had the best date since I had been with Kip. Then randomly over spring break I get this call, he's moving back, wants to see me. Great. Awesome. We hang out twice, both times something happens to his car. I start working, he never calls me back. The end. I'm not even one of those girls who continuously calls either. I call once and then I wait, mostly because I HATE talking on the phone. Uhhhhg. So I'm spending the night here, continuing to use Taylor, be bored out of my mind, and freak out tomorrow when I have to get home from Lufkin.

I am Jack's wasted life.